Letting go of what you want

Letting Go Of What You Want

It is simply a part of life that you cannot always get what you want. No matter how hard we try, sometimes even our deepest desires can constantly evade us. Sometimes, this means that there is something even better that is meant for us; but other times, it’s not that simple.

For years, we might work and pray and wonder “Why?” Why can’t we have this one thing??

I have personally experienced this; and as a shaman/medicine woman, it has brought me a plethora of wisdom that I am truly grateful for. However, it has taken me years to finally experience a breakthrough into letting go of a want that I had been chasing.

I have taken pilgrimage after pilgrimage with Spirit, searching for the answers on how to really let go of this incessant need to finally have my desire come to fruition. I wanted to be free and at peace from this obsession. However, I found that just “letting go” of that desire was not enough. I simply was unable to find the answer.

Until today

Finally, I understood. Maybe it was the power of the super moon that helped, maybe it was the help of my well ancestors, maybe it was the help of all of my helping spirits and allies. I don’t know. However, I do know that I finally got it.

Once I did, I was able to pinpoint exactly what it was I needed to let go of to be free of this obsession and find inner peace, balance and harmony…

What I needed to let go of was Pride.

Pride, while it has the potential to be good and useful in terms of being proud of our accomplishments, can be sneaky and wreak havoc in ourselves:

Pride can bind us to our ego’s need for validation and severely limit our ability to see and know our true selves clearly.

Pride leads to the obsessive “hamster wheel run” of always improving ourselves and searching for ways to become worthy and deserving of the very thing/person we are desiring to have.

Pride prevents us from REALLY connecting with the truth that we are already worthy and deserving—and in connecting with our authenticity.

From a shamanic perspective, we understand that powerful etheric cords bind us to our desires. These cords keep us stuck in a state of low self-esteem and unworthiness despite all our efforts to improve and grow. If we do not recognize when the source of these cords are a mix of fear and pride, we cannot effectively remove them.

Additionally, we can backtrack these cords and see that while this obsessive behavior has played out in our lives, maybe it didn’t really start with us. Perhaps it all started with an unresolved karmic pattern that lies in our lineage.

Wherever and however these cords begin, we have the power to clean them up and be free if we offer up our Pride that binds us to the validation we are seeking. Only then can we begin to uncover our beautiful, strong, abundant, and authentic selves. Miracles and magic happen from that place; and who knows, maybe then we can finally attain what it is we desire, as long as we remain open to “this or something better.”

A Medicine Wheel Ritual For Letting Go In Relationships

Ritual Medicine Wheel

A Medicine Wheel, or Sacred Circle, is a tool that has been used by Native North, South, and Central American tribes for generations. It symbolizes how all knowledge and life is connected in one, continuous loop. It also represents the achievement of balance and how our energy is also connected to the Universe.

This tool is very useful for reflecting on yourself and doing a soul check-in. Utilizing the Medicine Wheel will allow you to put your ego aside and truly look inward for things that may be holding you back in the areas of your life that are involved with relationships.

In order for you to use the Medicine Wheel properly, you need to know why it is always built the way that it is. A Medicine Wheel is always split into four sections. These sections represent North, South, East, and West. Each of these Cardinal Directions has a different healing power that you can implement for yourself as you do your own soul check-in. Here is a basic rundown of how each direction can help heal you:

North – Deals with trust issues and faith in relationships

South – Deals with letting go of past relationships

East – Deals with unhealthy thought patterns that have developed around relationships

West – Deals with having forgiveness and compassion for ourselves regarding relationships

In order to use your Medicine Wheel to heal in all the above ways, there are a few simple steps to follow:

  1. Create a Medicine Wheel in a circle on the ground that is large enough for you to move around in. Take your time with this, and do it outside, if possible. You can use rocks, shells, sticks, etc. to outline your shape.
  2. Once your ground replica is complete with corresponding sections, go into the Northern area and reflect on the following questions in your journal:- What is my heart’s desire in 1-2 clear statements?
    Do I truly have faith that the Universe wants the best for me?
    Do I believe that I have a Soul Mate relationship waiting for me in this life?
  3. Next, go into the Southern area and reflect on the following questions in your journal:- Who do I blame/judge for my failed relationships?
    Who do I need to let go of?
    What fears are keeping me from letting go?
  4. Next, go into the Eastern area and reflect on the following questions in your journal:- Do I believe I am worthy of a Soul Mate relationship?
    What negative beliefs have I developed around my relationships?
    Can I move past these beliefs and allow peace/acceptance to flow?
    Am I open to the true love that will come with my Soul Mate?
  5. Finally, go into the Western area and reflect on the following questions in your journal:- What mistakes have I made in my past relationships?
    Have I forgiven myself for these mistakes?
    What can I learn from these mistakes?

These steps can be done over the course of a few days, or you can take an entire day if you are not feeling overwhelmed. The most important thing to remember is to be completely and truly honest with yourself throughout this process, and set your ego aside. Also, feel free to substitute the wording to suit your needs as this ritual can be used for any relationship, not just the romantic kind. And of course, you can always contact Pamela at Passage to Inner Joy.

Photo by Madison Podjasek on Unsplash